Disneyland for Dead People

Travis’ title. Not mine.

But once he started explaining what he meant…I got it.

If you have been to Disney you know it is a “machine”. A well run machine.

You never see landscapers…and yet the landscape is always perfect. The crowds are processed quickly and efficiently. They train their employees, from characters to the street sweeper, how to handle their guests politely and cheerfully and they refer to those workers as “cast members” instead of employees. They even figured out how to cut down the wait on the best rides with Fast Pass. They are a well run machine.

Apparently…MD Anderson is as well. A cancer center that spans city blocks. Valet parkers at every corner to care for their patients. A check in process that is fast and efficient.

But MD Anderson is not Disney. Because one thing is noticeably lacking…joy.

A place where people don’t smile and nod as you pass by but, rather, look down at their feet…with tears in their eyes. Face after face after face shows sadness. Hopelessness. Fear. As you sit in the waiting room, scanning each patient’s face, you can’t help but read their thoughts…I’m dying.

In a word. In Travis’ word. You feel…

Disparaged.

But not all patients were given a promise. More than once.

This sickness is not unto death.

You can call me crazy. Say I am in denial. Think that I have “false hope”. Look at me with sympathy.

But I am standing on that promise.

Let me be clear. I am a logical person. A legalistic person. I require explanations and they better be logical or I will call. You. Out. I argue with fellow believers about our beliefs – even when I agree with them. I play devil’s advocate. I sympathize with those who don’t believe and can often see their position.

Simply put…

I am not a “faith person”.

I’m ashamed to say it. Ashamed to admit it. I admire people who have a child like faith and can simply read or hear something…and believe. But that isn’t me. That is my struggle. And I have a feeling…many of you reading this are the same.

And I have admitted to my dear friends. My best friends. That I stopped believing Travis would be healed. As “tidal wave” after “tidal wave” of disappointing news hit. I stopped hoping. And started thinking about…the inevitable.

Until Saturday night.

When I read the email from Kimberly, which I talked about in The Black Angel post,…I became a “faith person”. It’s hard. It doesn’t come naturally. But I believe God sent us a message, the same message, more than once.

This sickness is not unto death.

The pathology slides are in from Johns Hopkins. They were sent there to get a second opinion. We were hoping. Praying. That it was a misdiagnosis. That the original lab person had an “off” day and simply read the biopsy wrong. We were hoping God would answer our prayers this way. But He didn’t. Our ways are not His.

This sickness is not unto death.

Believe that with me. Please. Become a “faith person”. It’s scary. But wow. Is it ever exciting.

The Roberts need it. They need us, their support system (second to God of course), to believe it. Because they are sitting, waiting, trying to hope

In a Disneyland for dead people.

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4 responses to “Disneyland for Dead People

  • charlie Rizzo

    Hope never fades, for there is always hope. Look at the word hope carefully, it means healing obtained through prayer everyday. In this is our hope, hope for Travis and Carrie and their children and for all of God’s children. We must keep the faith.

  • Anonymous

    As I was going thru my day today, you have been on my mind constantly in hopes that God will give me a message / Prayer to pass on to you and your family. It came to me in form of a series that we are going thru at 12 Stone from several weeks back…. ” For this reason I bow my knees to the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in Heaven and earth is named, that he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might through his spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; That you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; That you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us, to Him be the glory in the Church by Christ Jesus to all Generations, forever and ever Amen.”

    Love you Always,

    Gino, Margo and Erika Molinet

  • A Trip To Disney! | Concrete Faith

    […] But…that is not the trip for the week.  Instead, Travis and Carrie are headed back to Disneyland for Dead People. […]

  • Puzzle Pieces | Concrete Faith

    […] you probably recall, Disneyland for Dead People (aka MD Anderson), was a disappointment.  In Carrie’s words, there was no “miracle […]

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