Expectations. They can break your heart.
It spread to my lungs.
Can you imagine getting that call? Can you imagine being the wife to someone with an incurable disease and hearing those words?
Can you imagine being Carrie?
Well. Now you can.
Is your heart in your throat? Mine was too.
And then she heard that laugh….Oh that laugh…
“heh, heh, heh……Just kidding…they still haven’t called.”
Oh to be married to Travis. Never a dull moment.
But then the text message did come in.
A text message???
Well. Dr. Hamrick is at the beach this week and still reached out personally to Travis with the results. That’s just the kind of doctor he is. That’s just the kind of guy Travis is.
I would imagine, as Travis went to retrieve the message, his heart must have been thumping as Carrie’s was when he made that ridiculous joke.
And the message…
“Hey Travis – am at the beach this week but got a voicemail from the radiologist – CT scan shows an excellent response. Lymph nodes persist but the cancer is responding everywhere. I will log in tonight and email the printed report to you. This is great news.”
Travis forwarded me the message to get on the blog…
Really? That’s it?
Ok….ok…ok…I am excited. I am happy. The news should be bad and it is not. Go to The Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation’s website and read the message boards. This disease does not give an “excellent response”…
…but then again…we kind of knew it was responding…the CA19-9 tells us that every two weeks.
But I am excited. I am.
It took me a few minutes. Ok. It took me 45 minutes. And I finally got real.
“God. I’m thankful for what You provided. I know it is of You. But….I’m kind of disappointed.”
Don’t worry. He didn’t fall off His throne. Nope…not because I simply told Him what He already knew I was feeling. It’s ok to be honest. It shows you trust Him. At least…that’s what I tell myself.
“God?!? Really!?!? That’s it!?!”
“I guess I just trust You know what You are doing. Your ways are not mine.”
And then the phone rang.
That wasn’t all the details. That wasn’t everything. God wasn’t done.
How about a sixty five percent REDUCTION in the lymph nodes?
How about going from eight tumors in the liver….to THREE.
How about the largest tumor in his liver reducing by 50%.
How about miracle, after miracle, after miracle, after miracle!?!?
Expectations. When they are met. It’s a beautiful thing.