Drama Free

It’s been a while. Over a month. I couldn’t even remember my login to WordPress. I have been meaning to write…but the words wouldn’t come. And I couldn’t figure out why. I couldn’t figure out why, suddenly, I had nothing to say? And then Carrie wrote her sweet, precious post last week and it hit me. Things were back to normal. True. It is a “new” normal but, none the less…”normal”. And I learned something about myself.

I can’t write without drama.

And things have been…well…drama free.

Routine. The Roberts are cooking their own meals. The kids are back in school. Carrie is busy with her role as a stay at home mom/nurse/nutritionist. They go to UGA games. They go to church. For the most part they are living a routine, drama free life. There really hasn’t been much to write about.

And I have to admit…

I like it.

I like it because drama free means my friend is well.

Last night…Carrie and I did our routine. It was Wednesday so that meant Chick Fil A for dinner and then the kids have choir while we just hang out and talk. And we actually talk about things other than…cancer. We picked our kids up after an hour and headed to our cars together.

And then my phone rang.

Our husbands know. If you can’t reach one of us on our own phone try the other’s.

“Hi Trav!”

“Get me Carrie now.”

I have to admit. I have settled into the new norm a little too well. If I had gotten that call two months ago I would have followed up with…”what’s wrong?” or “are you ok?” or “why…what’s going on?” I’m nosey like that. But instead…I gave my friend the you’re-in-trouble-for-something look and handed her the phone and I busied myself with the kids.

I have gotten so used to drama free it took a while to realize…something was wrong.

And just like that…things were no longer drama free.

My friend looked at me and mouthed…

“It went up.”

And my heart sank. Like yours is now. I knew from the look in her eye exactly what she was talking about.

The CA19-9.

And, just like that, the drama was back.

As Carrie walked away talking on the phone to Travis I stood there with all the kids in disbelief. Suddenly two strangers approached me and asked if I was with that lady and was everything ok?

How did they know??

I shook my head and just said, “no…everything is not ok.”

And these kind strangers said “go…be with her…we have the kids…we will go on the playground with them.”

And I did.

I went to my friend and hugged her. I hugged her as she sobbed and as she grieved and I looked in her eyes and saw…anguish.

I later found out that one of these kind women saw Carrie take the call and told her friend “did you see that? did you see her? I don’t know what is going on but that was the look I had when I got the call that my mom died.”

My poor friend. My poor precious friend. The fear. The pain. The uncertainty.

As much as you are feeling it now…imagine how exponentially she is feeling it.

What does this mean?!?!? Why couldn’t life just stay drama free?

At last check Travis’ CA19-9 was 3900. It is now up to 7200.

Dr. Hamrick has told them that, as the number got towards the bottom, it could start bouncing around. Up one week…down the next…up…down…up…down. But when I talked to Trav. When I reminded him of that. With desperation in his voice he just said “That’s not a bounce. A ‘bounce’ is four or five hundred. Something is wrong.”

We have seen God show up over and over and I don’t believe He is done with Trav yet. I believe He is just beginning.

It’s too soon.

So I just pray that Trav is wrong. That it IS a bounce. A lab error. Something. ANYTHING.

Anything but this drama. Because my precious friends deserve more than two months of being….

drama free.

21 responses to “Drama Free

  • Donna

    Travis, please know that I still pray!! I will continue to pray!! Please continue the battle and know that you will have set backs that are so scary but keep your eye on the goal and don’t give up!! I wish I could reach out to give you a big hug right now! Carrie you are a rock and Travis is blessed to have you in whatever the daily journey is in life. I send all of you my love!!

  • Anonymous

    Makes no difference. God is good — all the time. Its just a bump in the road. God is healing you, Travis Roberts!

  • John Pettit

    Don’t doubt in the darkness what God has shown you in the light. Just believe.

  • Anonymous

    The Urie family is praying for you. Wishing you peace and comfort to get you through this.

  • Kay Pigg

    Keep up the faith…and we will all pray harder for those numbers to go back down! Love to all of you!

  • Vicki Gansser

    Travis and Carrie,
    Words may not be enough, but knowing that you are in so many people’s prayers will hopefully bring you peace and comfort. We are in awe of your courage.
    Sending lots of love,
    Vicki and Walt Gansser

  • Sarah Kirkland

    Praying! God is with you each step, each bump, every high and every low. Stay the course, keep the faith, HE is able to do more the we can imagine!

  • Anonymous

    Carrie and Travis: Keep the faith- it is very difficult to do so when faced with the potential result, however, believe in yourself and God’s blessings, this too shall pass. My prayers are with you Travis and Carrie and I know many others are daily praying for the miracle of this century, it will happen, use the water given you I cannot accept that our Lord will not heal you. Daily in my prayers and will help in anyway I can. CFA Mr Charlie.

  • Ashleigh Lucas

    Travis and Carrie,
    I do not know either of you personally but I have seen your story pop up on my FB newsfeed via Suzanne Parker for the past few months as she prompts people to pray. I’m the music teacher for grades 1-8 at Eastside and further connections were made yesterday as Cindy Kelley mentioned Travis and his journey and said you all had a son in kindergarten. Well, I don’t teach him (yet;) but I did hear his name and turn around to see his sweet little blonde head today when he came to have music with Mrs. Stirzaker. Anyway, sorry for the long introduction, but I say all that to say this….I am adding myself to your band of prayer warriors. I’ve spent the past couple of hours poring over your story and I’m all in–angel sightings, funky kicks, and all. I’ll be praying.
    Many blessings and drama free days ahead,
    Ashleigh Lucas

  • Judy Thompson

    Praying from Vancouver, WA, still.

  • Mark P. Henderson

    Tav, don’t sweat it. Its a high lob and your up 6-0 in the tie breaker. Let it bounce back down, get in position for the smash and smack that sucker down so hard that it lands in the next county..like you always do. Piece of cake. Then give God the Glory for the victory He has provided.

  • Felicia Conwell

    Eagles wings. This is my prayer for my friend Travis, dear Lord. According to Your promise, let him not just walk or run but soar. Give him the strength to do Your bidding in amazing ways, not just doing kind deeds, but showing the depth of Your compassion to others. Not just saying nice words, but uttering Your blessing upon those around him. He has been waiting for Your healing touch, and I admit that the wait has been difficult, but now he and Carrie needs renewed Strength. Give him a spiritual power that radiates, so that everyone around him will know that You are with him. Carrie and Travis remember God did not

  • kbmcgill

    The Baskin and McGill families continue to pray for strength, hope, and complete healing for you. Our five year old girl doesn’t know you, but prays for you and your family every single night. Proverbs 3:5-6

  • Katie Dickerson

    We are praying for you all. God is with you always!

  • Joan

    I was wanting to say also – God did not bring you this far to leave you now! and I see someone just ahead of me did but I believe it and am praying from afar also. (Sheri Johnson’s Mom – Joan)

  • Laurie Sepulveda

    Extra prayers for you guys today. Sending lots of love from NH.

  • Anonymous

    I have Intra Hepatic Cholangiocarcinoma and am stage 4. That was 2 1/2 years ago and I am still here to Praise and Thank our Lord every day! I pray for you and will continue to do so. My local oncologist won’t even check my CA 19-9 as it hops around so much but when I go to MD Anderson every three months…they do check it. Hang tough and you’ll be through the obstacle course in no time and back to smooth sailing!! I also have a blog at pattysjourneyoffaith@blogspot.com

  • Anonymous

    Praying for you and your precious family.

  • Anonymous

    Praying for you and Carrie and the family.

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