When In Doubt…

Doubt is sneaking in again. Enveloping me. Crowding my thoughts. Catching my breath. Disturbing my stomach causing it to jump now and then.

But…when in doubt…pray.

Travis texted me today. The news is in. The results are bad. Real bad. Trav told me his CA19-9 is now at 254,000. And then he said “I’ll see you on the other side.”

Only this time. He wasn’t joking. This time there was no smiley. This time his emotions were raw and I could tell…he is hurting.

He is doubting.

But…when in doubt…pray.

Can you blame him? Doubt is suffocating me and I am not the one dying.

There are not many other options. They will try some other chemos…but…that’s the end of any chemos that have shown to have any impact on Cholangiocarcinoma. Notice I said impact. Not cure. Nothing cures this disgusting disease. It just slows it down. Knocks it back. buys time…

And there it is again. Knocking. Nagging. Shouting. Stealing peace and comfort. Doubt.

But when in doubt….pray.

The genetic testing came back as well. Also bad. Of the million plus cancer markers (which I believe are just mutated genes) that make up Travis’ cancer, they were able to identify two. Two. Dr. Hamerick is searching the country for trials that are working on treatments for these two identified markers.

Knock knock.

It’s doubt. Again. So it’s basically impossible. Not basically. It IS impossible. Give it up. There’s just no way. Even if he finds something, in order for Travis to be cured, all markers would have to be identified and given treatment. Which obviously isn’t happening.

But when in doubt…pray.

And so it seems we are at the end of our options. There is not much left. And so. It’s knocking. Again.

But this time.

This time. I think I’ll answer.

Heavenly Father,

Forgive me for entertaining my doubt. Forgive me for forgetting that Your ways are not my own. Forgive me for rationalizing.

I humbly come before You asking…begging…for a miracle. I recognize that You and You alone can step in and choose to heal Travis. There is no doctor. No medicine. No chemo that can cure.

Only You.

Please Father, please.

Please grant his children time with their father. I beg You Father to allow Jake to not only remember his father but to know his father. May Piper have the joy of her daddy walking her down the aisle. May Trey have daddy teach him to drive race-car-no-top. May Carrie know what it is like to grow old with her life long love.

All impossible.

Completely and totally impossible. Father.

Impossible without You.

If You choose…You can heal. And so I both humbly and boldly ask You, in the name of Jesus Christ whose blood can heal all, to physically heal Travis.

In the precious name of Jesus I pray.


The Roberts are struggling. Struggling with grief. Struggling with doubt. Just struggling. And so it is our job to step in the gap and pray for them. Even when doubt creeps into our minds. We must pray.

Send me your prayers. The Roberts are deeply hurting and even doubting. To pray as a group, to encourage Travis and Carrie, to simply beg your Heavenly Father…email me your prayers to be published on a Prayer Wall on the blog – kikiganz@gmail.com

Because…when in doubt…pray.

26 responses to “When In Doubt…

  • Whitney Wideman

    “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourself” -Philippians 2:3

    Date: Tue, 14 Jan 2014 20:41:24 +0000 To: wfwideman@hotmail.com

  • Lynne Gann

    A dear friend of mine who is now with the Lord gave me the below scriptures when she was in her last days on this earth. She constantly reminded us all that this earth is not the end! I recommend you get the book titled “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn. It will bring so much joy to realize the reality of our future with Jesus! No matter what befalls us here on earth, we will have a new earth that we will one day enjoy with all our loved ones who know the Lord. Praying for your miracle along with much peace.

    May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in your faith, that by the power of the Holy Spirit, your whole life and outlook may be radiant with hope………Romans 15:13
    Don’t be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor fear the dangers of the day, nor dread the plague that stalks in the darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you…………Psalm 91: 5-7

  • Anonymous

    My Sweet Heavenly Father, we have been constant in our faith and prayers for Travis. I ask you to hold his hand, walk with him and give him peace in his heart to know that you are with him at all times. Wrap your arms around this precious family, make sure Carrie knows how loved she is and what a wonderful wife and mother she is. Travis (p-nut) is such a special person to allow us to share the most intimate details of this journey, maybe it has brought us all stronger in faith, maybe people that did not have you in their life now do. We may never know why, but we trust that you have plans for Travis! Miracles do happen and we still pray for one!! I love you p-nut!!

  • mommajane59

    Carrie & Travis, may God wrap his arms of love & comfort around you during this trying time. Heavenly Father, we acknowledge that YOU and YOU alone are our hope and salvation. ALL our days are in your hands. We PRAY for healing for Travis. We TRUST you to answer in your perfect will and THANK YOU that the answer YOU choose will be the PERFECT one. Continuing to lift you both in prayer ~ Thank you for having the courage to share your journey~

  • Debbie

    Travis and Carrie from my family to yours we will pray, we will keep praying and we will keep faith for you and your beautiful family. God’s plans may not always be clear to us, but with faith we do believe in Him and His plans. I pray for you and your faith and for Carrie and her faith and you beautiful children. We love you all and will continue to PRAY! Love, Debbie Rooks and family

  • Laurie

    Dear Travis and Carrie,
    I am remaining in prayer for Christ to show you His grace and mercy
    and heals you, Travis,100% on this earth.

    I pray Hebrews 4:16, which tells us to come boldly before the throne of
    grace to find mercy and grace to help in our time of need. He needs you
    now, precious Jesus.

    I pray Isaiah 53:5 for you, which tells us that by His stripes we are healed!

    In Psalm 77:14 I pray that you would know and receive the word that says He is the God who displays miracles. Please display your power to Travis’ body God, for Your glory!

    In Deuteronomy 7:15 I claim His words for your health; “The LORD will
    take away from you all your sickness.” I pray for that for you on this earth.

    In Jeremiah 30:17 we are told that He will restore health onto you and
    take away all of your wounds. Please dear Father, I pray this for Travis!

    We serve a God of miracles. He is in control and I pray that you feel
    His peace and love right now. I pray that He heals you 100% on this earth.

    My love to you both,
    Laurie Garvin

  • Ann Johnson

    Lord, as your friend Lazarus lay ill,
    Others remarked to you that
    “The one you love is ill,”
    People said, “see His love for him.”
    Today, Lord Jesus, we pray for Travis because he – the one you love – is ill.
    We ask you to bring your healing and peace to him and his family. Amen.

  • frank


    Sometimes there are no words except those spoken in the silence of the heart—-and those spoken quietly to Almighty God. You are in my prayers each day.

    Frank Coleman, Sr.

  • Rhonda Cochran

    Most Dear, Gracious, Heavenly Father:
    I come humbly before You now asking for Your powerful healing that is able to transcend any and all obstacles on behalf of Travis and Carrie Roberts. I ask as Your word teaches us to ask, for Travis to be restored to good health. I pray that this weight on the Roberts’ shoulders that is bearing down smothering them be lifted. I pray that they feel, really feel, Your presence at this time. I pray that they know that the plans You have for them are plans to prosper not to harm, plans to give them hope and a future. I pray for Your divine intervention on this family and to heal Travis. I pray all these things in Your Holy Name El Roi.

  • Kelly

    Every day, every single hour I think of you both and your precious babies!!!! My heart is heavy and my tears continue to flow for every single thing you have had to endure. I am on my knees begging for Christ to show mercy to you, my dear friends whom I love with my entire heart!! I pray for a miracle unlike any we have ever experienced!!!
    I love you all so much!!! I love you, love you, love you……

  • Judy

    Our Father, You alone can heal. You alone can take this wretched disease and separate it from Travis as far as east is from west. You know his heart. You know how he has testified in your name. Please give him time with his precious wife and children. I do not know this very special man but the love his many friends have for him speaks for his goodness. We do beg, Dear Father. We beg for you to give Travis more time on earth. But, if you choose to take him home, please give his family the strength they’ll need to continue to live without him. Give him the strength he’ll need to say goodbye. As your son prayed, God, we also pray to please let this cup pass, but in the end, your will be done.

  • Doreen

    I understand where this newest entry to Concrete Faith is coming from. Yet we do not need to beg Father for anything. To beg means we love more than He loves. To beg means we care more than He cares.
    God HATES sickness and disease. He calls it a curse and indeed it is.
    Jesus became a curse for us when He hung on that tree.
    He hates what disease does.

  • karen

    Praying for healing and sending you peace!

  • Judy Edmondson Smith

    My heart was really touched by today’s post. I remember during my husband’s fight with melanoma, a pastor asked me what the hardest part was for me. I told him I didn’t know how to continue to stand in faith when I saw my husband losing ground every day. He had no response. That day I cried out to God to show me how to continue to walk in faith so that He would be glorified. I think the hard part was not trying to ” bargain” with God. Good knows Travis heart and how we all are trusting Him for healing. I don’t know God’s plans for Travis but I do know God loves His children and heard the prayers of His people. He is always good and faithful. Today I am praying those same prayers as I am trusting the Lord to heal me from my stage 4 cancer. I am continue to trust the Lord for healing for Travis, just as He promised.

  • Anonymous

    Father, I pray you healing hand be on, over and through Travis! My your peace overwhelm them. Comfort them in all outcomes. You are in control father and thank you for the blessing of time you have given them thus far, but father I pray for complete healing for your child! Guide the doctors, guide this family as they walk down this path! Lord, have mercy! Thanks be to God!

  • Linda M.

    Heavenly Father, you are still the Great Physician. You alone can give health and hope. We pray, ask, beg in your name that you, the Almighty will work a miracle in Travis’s life and restore him to health. Be with his family as they seek your mercy and strength. We ask this in you who can do far more than we ask or think, in the holy name of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

  • allie

    Heavenly Father, Today we pray for miracles for Travis, God. Miracles that only you can provide. We lay worry and doubt at your feet, and know that you have a plan. And your plan, is always infinitely better than our plan. We pray in numbers God, just as you have called us to. We pray against the cancer in his body, we pray for time on earth, we pray for miraculous healing, and we pray for faith. We pray that as life’s trials grow bigger, that you grow stronger in our hearts. Today, especially, I ask you to bless Travis & his family with a good day, a day for memory making, a day of laughter and love, a day that is so blessed by you, that worry flees their minds and hearts. In your holy name we pray, truly and deeply. Amen.

  • Kelsey Rodeniser

    Thank you Carrie. I needed this today. I am sorry that I, unlike some of the other replies, could not leave notes of encouragement and love and Jesus. I cannot, but I needed you to know that your words blessed me and encouraged me. I pray for you today, right now, in this moment with no specifics for peace or joy. But I lift you up.
    And I again thank you.

  • Kelly ( Hubley) Colvert

    Travis, You got this!! Stay positive!! There are so many prayers coming your way. I continue to pray for you, your family, and your friends.

  • Mike McMahon

    Almighty and Everlasting God, the eternal salvation of those who believe in You, hear us on behalf of Your servants who are sick, for whom we humbly beg the help of your mercy, so that, being restored to health, they may render thanks to you in your Church. Through Christ our Lord. Amen

  • Clay Osburne

    Travis and Carrie,

    When efforts, thoughts, and treatments seem futile…pray. God we ask for your divine intervention and that you glorify yourself through Travis’ restoration and healing. We know that you are Sovereign and in You we place our trust, this family, and their circumstances. We pray for Your mercy and that You show off Your might! Lord, bring them comfort and peace that can only come from You during this time. God, you know our prayer. I thank you for encouraging and inspiring me through this journey that the Roberts have so boldly taken even when doubt creeps in. Lord, we ask for Your healing, trust in Your control, and plead for Your glory to be revealed. Thank You for blessing all of us with knowing the Roberts. Amen.

  • Beth Miniter

    Dear Lord, I was blown away by the scriptures I read today in Philippians 2:25-30, about an obscure person, Epaphroditus, who “was sick to the point of death, but God had mercy on him, and not on him only but also on me [Paul], lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow.” I immediately thought of Travis. These scriptures encourage me to continue to pray for healing. Thank You, Lord, that You are the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Thank You for loving us and providing the scriptures to comfort us. Help us not to be anxious for tomorrow but to turn our anxious thoughts into prayers so we may enjoy sweet fellowship with You and experience Your peace that passes understanding. Please bless Carrie and Travis – wrap Your arms around them and hold them close.

  • Donna

    Lord, please look upon Travis with eyes of mercy. May your healing hand rest upon him and your life-giving powers flow into every cell of his body, cleansing, purifying, and restoring him to soundness of health for service in your kingdom. Please also give his family your comfort and grace and fill them with your faih and love. May God bless you all.

  • Anonymous

    Dear Heavenly Father, You above all know what is happening to Travis and Carrie. You already know the change You have made inTravis and those around him. You know the illness and the people who are praying to You and asking for the miracle. Only You can change this outcome and give us the miracle we ask. We all know that nothing happens which You have not allowed. There is a plan for everything which happens in our lives. You want our devoted attention. You want our constant prayers. You demand our whole hearts and worship to You through our belief in Your son so that we can dwell with you forever. Dear Father, You have already brought many new believers to You through your servant Travis. I ask now for a miracle so this man of yours may continue to grow in Your word and share his life with his family and all those around him. May you see the love for this family from all those who know him and wish the miracle to take place. I ask Your love to surround this family and guide them daily to seek Your will. In Your Son’s precious name, Amen

  • Bonnye Woodlief

    Lord, You tell us that “You are near to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit”. Surround the Roberts family with Yourself, encourage their hearts, and fill then with the hope and peace that comes from you and you alone. We bless you, Lord, and ask for the miracle than only you can give. Amen

  • Sherry

    Praying that God will wrap his loving arms around Travis and Carrie and each of their precious babies. I can’t imagine what your family is going through, but know you are thought of often and I know our God can and does perform miracles. We pray that Travis is healed and can spend an eternity with the ones he loves so dearly and becomes pain free. Just know that he has already touched so many lives and God is using him to do his work. Praying for Gods blessings on your family.

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