Monthly Archives: February 2014

Sidelines

This month has shown us some of the toughest winter weather the Southeast has faced in a long time.  Record setting low temperatures and more than a week of school missed by children.  The month has been cold and long.

And sitting at the window, on the sidelines, is Travis.  Watching from the window as his children play in the snow.

Travis doesn’t do life from the sidelines…

But this new chemo has a couple of nasty side effects, one being an extreme reaction to cold temperatures.  So extreme, his hands cannot touch the granite countertops in his kitchen without pain shooting through his fingertips.

But Travis doesn’t do life from the sidelines…

And so…he bundled up. He endured the pain.  And he went for a walk with his family…in the snow.

The other nasty side effect from this chemo is a rash.  A painful rash that has covered his face…his scalp…his chest…his back…the inside of his mouth…  A rash so painful that prescription narcotics can’t seem to take the pain away.  He takes a pill and goes to bed.

But Travis doesn’t do life from the sidelines…

So he takes the meeting with the client.  He makes the business trip to Washington D.C. He picks up his friends to go to church.

He endures the pain as a part of the fight.

At what point does Travis throw the towel in?  At what point does he give up?  At what point does he start living life from the sidelines.

That just wouldn’t be Travis.  Travis doesn’t do life from the sidelines…

Despite the pain.  Despite the hair loss.  Despite the continual bad news.  Despite the hopelessness of this disease and everything else it has brought with it.  Travis continues to fight.

And for what?  Disappointing news after disappointing news has come since September.  Almost 6 full months of unsuccessful treatment.  Almost six full months of cancer winning.

But not this time.

For the first time in more than six months Travis has won a battle.

The new CA19-9 number is in…and it dropped.  Dropped by 30,000.

For the first time in six months…this chemo is working.

And so the pain…the rash…the hair loss…the fight has been worth it.

Because you can’t score from the sidelines.  And Travis just doesn’t do life from the sidelines.

Advertisements

Dragged Through Hell

Bloody pillows. Painful rashes. Thinning hair. Hours in a chemo chair. Going home with a chemo pump.

Being dragged through hell.

That’s  Travis’ life right now. Hell.

The new chemo brings with it all the wonderful side effects that go along with hell.

A painful rash. Waking up to bloody pillows from said rash. Hair falling out. A severe, painful reaction to cold. The list goes on….

But the amazing part?

Ask Travis how his symptoms are…

Not too bad.  

How can someone who is being dragged through hell respond with “I’m good” when asked how he is doing?

And.  As if all that isn’t enough. The CA19-9 (cancer marker) came in.

It more than doubled.  Again.

540,183

Do you remember what normal is?

30.

And yet. Some how.  Some way.  Against all odds.  There is still a glimmer of hope.

Call it denial. Call it being pollyanna.  Call it what you want.

But we call ita bit of faith… 

Perhaps the size of a mustard seed…but it’s there.

Faith.

Despite the odds.  Despite the news.  Despite the symptoms.

Despite being dragged through hell.

mustard-seed1